Love all the Poison
by MissSarahDaae
Summary: Alfred didn't want to experience the pain of death, but somehow the pain of living seemed worse. [Self-harm warnings]
1. Chapter 1 - Betrayed

Hi Guys, I had this as a draft but never published it, so I cleaned it up and split the AU into 3 parts.

It starts angsty but gets fluffy at the end, I am just complete Alfred/Herbert trash, so if you enjoyed it please leave a review :)

Feel free to check out my other work while you are here!

Happy Reading

Sarah x

* * *

Alfred awoke in the darkness, he still had a slight panic whenever he woke up in a coffin, the constant fear that he had been buried alive, but all of his worry melted away when he realised he was in Herbert's arms.

Herbert was already awake. He liked to watch Alfred as he slept, he looked so peaceful. On occasion he sensed Alfred getting restless and was quick to pull him back into his arms and gently stroke his curls and press kisses onto his forehead until he calmed down. Herbert adored how Alfred clung to him, he had never been allowed to protect someone before, they hadn't needed protection, but Alfred was the light of Herbert's life and he was going to make sure that he never got hurt or felt fear again.

"Good morning dear heart" purred Herbert running his finger down Alfred's cheek.

"Good morning" said Alfred snuggling into Herbert's shirt.

"Shall we arise, I'm sure the Professor will be wanting your assistance" commented Herbert giving the coffin lid a firm kick.

"Yes, I can't wait to start work in the higher levels of the library" exclaimed Alfred

Herbert and Alfred waited the few seconds until Koukol came moaning and groaning across the crypt and pushed the lid off the casket.

Alfred gently jumped out the coffin and saw a tray carrying two large goblets filled with delicious smelling blood.

Herbert seeing Alfred's rather confused expression quickly explained. "Darling, I asked Koukol to bring blood down to us, so we don't need to eat with all the riff raff"

"Thank you Herbert, it smells delicious, what animal is it?" asked Alfred picking up one of the goblets

"Um, it's human" said Herbert reluctantly

"Oh…" said Alfred

"Alfred, you have to try it, animal blood will not keep you going forever, you need

human blood to survive" urged Herbert

"Who was it?" asked Alfred staring at the liquid

"What?"

"Who was it?" repeated Alfred

"Some random villager I suppose, Vati brought in the kill last night" said Herbert climbing out of the casket.

"So I could be drinking the blood of someone's Mother or Father or Brother, is that what you're saying" blurted Alfred angrily.

"Alfred, I do not like your tone, when you became a vampire you knew that blood drinking was an essential element to survive, you cannot survive on animal blood alone". said Herbert harshly

"I'm alive now aren't I!" protested Alfred angrily "why can't I just keep drinking the blood of animals!"

"Alfred lower your voice, if Vati isn't already awake, he will be soon, God forbid you wake him up by shouting" hushed Herbert

"I can't drink the blood of humans, I just can't" shouted Alfred

"Alfred, enough!, you must drink human blood to survive, if Vati knew I was still feeding you animal blood every so often, I fear he would cut off the supply, I will not watch you starve yourself because of your conscience" hissed Herbert

"What do you mean, every so often" asked Alfred

"Pardon?" asked Herbert

"You said you have given me animal blood 'every so often', what is hell is that suppose to mean!" spat Alfred.

"Nothing, just a slip of the tongue, now please drink some blood" asked Herbert

"No, not until you tell me what you REALLY meant by 'every so often'"

threatened Alfred

"Very well, you seem determined for me to hurt you so, fine, for the last few days I have been replacing your animal blood with human, you never noticed the difference did you Alfred? There, are you satisfied?" said Herbert with one hand on his hip.

Alfred dropped the goblet and sent blood splashing onto the crypt floor.

"You- did what?" he stammered, his breath sticking in his throat.

"Alfred, I needed to give you the blood, you were losing your complexion, little things I began to notice, your nightmares got worse, you became nervous again, Vati had noticed as well, you don't want to know the lecture I received, Alfred I should have told you…" said Herbert trying to approach Alfred

"No, stay away, I don't want you anywhere near me…" cried Alfred

"Alfred, please" said Herbert looking genuinely hurt by Alfred's words

"Leave me alone!" yelled Alfred as he ran from the crypt

"Alfred come back, the sun has not set!" yelled Herbert desperately

Alfred didn't care, he just wanted to be as far away from Herbert as possible.

* * *

As he ran with inhuman speed towards the battlements he saw a line of golden light escaping from a large curtain.

Alfred stopped dead.

His vampiric instinct told him to get back and run to the cover of the crypt, but Alfred was curious, he had been burnt before, but what would it feel like to be burnt by the sun?

Alfred stepped cautiously toward the light and then gently stretched out his hand and then felt a hot agonising pain run through his fingers. Alfred hissed and pulled his hand back admiring the red, almost lightning like burns on his fingers. This pain made him forget everything, Herbert, his new family, his life, the blood he had been drinking. Alfred gagged at the thought, he was drowning in oceans of blood and sorrow, this was his existence, lying in wait in the dark until the next victim gets lost in the forest before killing it like the monster he was. Alfred pulled up his sleeve and taking a deep breath pushed his whole arm into the light. The agonising pain crippled him but he didn't scream, he just watched as his arm slowly reddened and blistered.

Alfred's agony was put to an end as the sun disappeared beneath the mountains, he knew Herbert would try to find him so he had to hide.


	2. Chapter 2 - Assured

Running the rest of the way to the battlements Alfred spotted a small tower which would be perfect to watch the night sky and for him to lick his wounds.

After a few close calls Alfred had successfully made it to the tower and perched on the roof.

As the moon rose high in the sky, only then did he see the extent of his injuries. Herbert would have a fit, if he saw his arm in this state. He knew he couldn't hide forever but Herbert had made Alfred question his trust. Why had Herbert done this?, Alfred had said he didn't want to drink the blood of humans or at least not yet. He had only been a vampire for just over a month, things were still very knew to him. But Herbert was only trying to help him, Alfred knew he wouldn't have done it on purpose but he just wished he has been told.

A loud yell broke the silence that Alfred was enjoying. Alfred strained to hear. The voice yelled again. This time it was more clear, a name. The voice shouted a third time and Alfred found who the voice belonged to. Herbert had burst out onto the battlements and was frantically searching in any small spaces that an Alfred could fit inside.

Alfred hated how distressed Herbert sounded, but he couldn't bring himself to yell a reply. Luckily the moon had been covered by a wandering cloud and sheltered Alfred from being discovered.

Alfred watched as Herbert flew back in the castle and listened as his shouts became more and more faint.

"You won't be able to hide from him for much longer Alfred"

Alfred nearly fell off the roof as the beautiful voice of Sarah, his Sarah, spoke to him. He spun round and saw her climbing over the last few tiles of the roof before sitting beside him.

"He won't find me...for now at least" said Alfred quietly

"But he won't be happy when he does" commented Sarah pointing to the burnt skin on Alfred's arm.

"I was curious" stammered Alfred, trying his best to hide the state of his arm.

"Curious?" exclaimed Sarah "Alfred, a moment longer and you could have lost your arm completely, why did you do it?"

"I was angry" confessed Alfred

"You were stupid" retorted Sarah

Alfred opened his mouth in an attempt to defend himself, but his logical brain caused him to remain quiet.

"What did that pampered boy do to you" sighed Sarah

"He betrayed my trust" mumbled Alfred

"Goodness me Alfred you are not in a novel!" exclaimed Sarah "betrayed your trust?, you mean he lied to you?"

Alfred blushed "Yes"

"About what?" questioned Sarah

"You wouldn't understand" said Alfred sadly

Sarah gently placed her hand on Alfred's shoulder "Then make me understand"

Alfred sighed and then confessed it all, completely submissive to her dark brown eyes.

"It's just, you almost seem born to be a vampire, you understand things, you have no problem with drinking the blood of the innocent, you like hunting, you can control your fangs, I can't do any of that" he cried

"That's because I practice Alfred, it was hard for me at first, but now I have trained myself and things like killing isn't so hard anymore" explained Sarah

"But I can't kill anyone or anything!" exclaimed Alfred "I am a failure"

"Alfred you are not a failure, you are just inexperienced" assured Sarah

"But even now I can't drink human blood!" cried Alfred, nearly gagging at the thought.

"But you have been the last few days" commented Sarah

"I had no idea it was human" groaned Alfred, shivering at the memory. "And how did you know?"

"I could smell it on you" smiled Sarah "you seemed happier and full of life, you shone next to Herbert"

"But it's human" protested Alfred "human!"

"Alfred you are no longer human!" exclaimed Sarah "you must lose this sense of moral decency"

"I thought I would" he confessed

"What?"

"When you turned me I thought everything would change, to humans, vampires are seen to be merciless killers with no moral decency or respect for the living, I thought I would loose all those things when I began a vampire, but I didn't, the only thing that changed was my physical appearance not my mental" explained Alfred

"So you still can't bring yourself to drink human blood?" asked Sarah

"No, I still feel too human" confessed Alfred

"The humans hate you Alfred, you have every reason to hate them" said Sarah

"But"

"If a human found you they would kill you and chop your head from your body, what is more barbaric, cleanly draining someone's blood or burning people at the stake?" exclaimed Sarah

"Both are wrong!" exclaimed Alfred

"Which doesn't make either any better!" retorted Sarah "besides do you know the kinds of people that we attack?"

Alfred shook his head.

"The people that come through these woods are drunks, thugs and criminals who want nothing more than to cause suffering, by killing them, we are cleansing the earth of their evil" explained Sarah

"But that doesn't make it right!" protested Alfred

Sarah groaned in frustration "Alfred, let me give you an example, the blood that was brought in last night was from a group of men travelling back from a another town, they tried to kill a family that lives on the outskirts of the forest, the Count stepped in, killed the thugs and saved the family, do you understand now, we don't kill innocence"

"Why didn't anyone tell me this" asked Alfred

"Because every time Herbert brings the subject up, you freak out and beg him to stop" said Sarah, cocking her eyebrow.

Alfred felt terrible. All those times he had begged Herbert to stop talking about blood, was only Herbert trying to explain the situation to ease his nerves, how could Alfred be so inconsiderate…

Sarah read Alfred's expression with her natural precision.

"Go and find him Alfred, he loves you and is worried sick"

Alfred went to stand but his burns caused him to slump back down.

"Take it slowly" warned Sarah "you've burnt half your arm off, you would be dead if your were still human, slow down"

Alfred gave Sarah a small smile. "Thanks Sarah"

"Let's get you down" she smiled and much to Alfred's surprise flung him over her shoulder and jumped off the tower, landing delicately on the battlements below.

"How-" stammered Alfred

"When you are at full strength you would be surprised at what you can achieve" chuckled Sarah

"Can I do that?" asked Alfred

"Not yet, you must drink plenty of blood before you try anything like that" warned Sarah

Alfred nodded.

"Now go and find Herbert" she urged giving him a gentle shove towards the doors "preferably before he tears this castle apart"


	3. Chapter 3 - Redeemed

Alfred wandered back through the castle, adamant on finding Herbert.

He suddenly saw a flash of icy blonde hair at the far end of the corridor and quickly called out "Herbert?"

It took a matter of seconds before Herbert and his tear stained face appeared beside Alfred.

"Alfred, where have you been!" cried Herbert "I have been worried sick!"

Herbert continued to ask him questions and demand answers but Alfred ignored them all and gently wrapped his arms around Herbert's torso and snuggled into the material of his shirt.

"Alfred, if you think you can just wander back and -" Herbert stopped.

Alfred followed his line of vision which rested on his badly burnt arm and watched as Herbert's face crumbled.

"When did this - how Alfred" whispered Herbert, barely able to speak

"I was angry Herbert, it was curiosity and stupidity" confessed Alfred, hanging his head

"You did this to yourself?" cried Herbert

"I wanted to see what would happen" confessed Alfred "I was scared and angry, I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" exclaimed Herbert "my dear Alfred, I am the one who should be apologising to you"

"No Herbert, I - Sarah explained what I was refusing to hear, I am sorry that I didn't listen to you" hushed Alfred

"But I promised to protect you and I have failed!" exclaimed Herbert

"I was being unreasonable Herbert, you had every right to yell at me, I should have listened" said Alfred

"I should not be so tough on you" smiled Herbert sadly, running his finger down Alfred's cheek

"And I need to stop being such a lousy vampire" mumbled Alfred

"Sweetheart you are still a baby" hushed Herbert

"I'm not a baby!" protested Alfred

"Alfred, Alfred, Alfred, you forget I am 600 years old, you are barely 19, you are a baby in my eyes, whether you like it or not" smiled Herbert

Alfred winced as he laughed, his arm was in agony and the more he ignored it the worse it became.

"Alas my mon chéri is injured" exclaimed Herbert "we must get you some blood immediately"

"Does it have to be human?" asked Alfred

"If you want your arm to get better...yes" said Herbert

Alfred sighed with a smile "Very well, I will drink as much as I need to"

"That's the spirit!" chuckled Herbert "it will get easier I promise"

The two vampires wandered back through the castle, dead set on returning Alfred's arm to its former glory.


End file.
